Smite Your Loins

I have managed to go for nearly 12 hours without setting myself or something else on fire. I smoked enough PCP to tranquilize a small platoon of elephants, and spent most of the time laying on the floor, mumbling and drooling on myself. This is possibly one of the best times I have ever had in my life. I met God and I talked to Him for a long time about the "fire thing", as I so eloquently put it. God spent most of the time laughing at me and calling me a weasel. Then God turned into a walrus with a strap-on, and I took that as a sign that He didn't want to talk to me anymore, so I called up Batman and went over to his house (cave). I'm not so sure how I managed to do this without leaving my living room floor (no matter where I went, I could still smell the unique combination of urine, vomit, blood, burnt plastic, and gasoline that lingers in every room of my house/shanty), but I somehow managed to, and Batman's house was the bomb. He's got all this dope shit, like planes, and bombs, and that big ass penny...he's a bad motherfucker.

I had a good time, but my ass hurts and I don't know why.