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Tidings of Great Joy

Welcome back, kids.  If you had trouble getting to the website on Tuesday, I'm sorry.  We had some DNS problems, which, I understand, are fixed now.  I set up another backup DNS server, so this shouldn't happen again.  You hear that, Internet?  I'm on to you and your tricks, with your porn and your news and your...porn.  You won't sneak up on me again.

I wanted to be the first to tell you, "Merry Christmas!"  But then I realized that the Malls put up their decorations in, like, October, so I would have had to tell you "Merry Christmas!" before Halloween.  At the time, I had not been thinking about telling you "Merry Christmas!" because I was too busy making my "Ernest Goes To Camp" costume and figuring out how to maximize my candy intake/neighborhood navigation time ratio (or my INNT ratio).  So, I decided to do what any sane, red-blooded American would do:  I tried to build a time machine in my basement so I could go back in time and be the first to tell you "Merry Christmas!".  That is not, however, what happened.  Once again, I fell prey to the wicked combination of kerosene, paint thinner, cheap over-the-counter cold medicine, and Internet porn.  I know, I know, I've got a terrible problem, but I started going to KPRA (Kerosene, Paint thinner, and Robitussin Anonymous) and I'm getting help.  I'm the only member, right now, but our ranks are increasing (I paid this homeless guy $10 show up at meetings to make potential members feel welcome).

So, Merry Christmas!  And lay off the Robitussin and paint thinner!

See you guys next week!

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