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Down In The Park


See?  I told you Jesus'd be back.  And you thought I was lying.  Well, not this time.  You remember that time I came home with blood all over my shirt and I told you that a midget nun had vomited red ink all over your new blouse?  That was a lie.  You can tell when I'm lying, because I always mention midgets.  Little people scare me, so I try to stay away from them.  I just like the word, you know?  I never get enough opportunity to say it.  So you gotta make the opportinuties, is what I'm saying.  Not like that time with the pickaxe and those three hookers.  You know, when you got greasepaint all over your glasses, and that was before Charlita got out the Crisco and the riding crop.  Crisco Twister, indeed.  To this day, I have never seen a finer pimp-slap (perfect half-circle rotation, open-handed with a sudden twist directly before contact, more like a pimp-karate-chop than a pimp-slap) than when that guy with the wrestling t-shirt slapped the fuck out that Detroit cop.  Classic.  I remember the pepper spray like it was yesterday.

Speaking of pimp-slaps, the
Pimp Contest is still ongoing.  What are you waiting for?  All you have to do is link me from anywhere:  your blog, your website, a forum, whatever.  Then email me a link.  If you're one of the next six people to do so, you'll win an @officialjesuschrist.com email address, with a username of your choice.  Webmail is handled by Google, over at http://webmail.officialjesuschrist.com.

UPDATE:  Congratulations, Adam Hensch!  You're the next Pimp Contest winner!  Enjoy your new LITJ email address (uberhensch@officialjesuschrist.com)!  And you know what that means, kids:  there's only five addresses left.  So, get to posting what you need to post and email me where you posted it!

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